Since I've been on a rampage of serious topics lately, here's something that'll make you smile, regardless of your political affiliation. It's been making the rounds of internet e-mails lately:

"A major research institution has announced the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element has been named "governmentium".

Governmentium has one neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called "morons", which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called "peons".

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete, when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half life of 4 years...it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons change places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming "isodopes".

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quanity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "critical morass".

When catalyzed with money, governmentium becomes "administratium", a new element which radiates just as much energy, since it has half as many peons...but twice as many morons."

Truer words were never written.